We’ve been swamped the last few weeks with t-shirt orders and getting them distributed as quickly as possible. You guys have BLOWN us away! It has been a wild ride! I set a personal goal for us to have sold 150 t-shirts by July. When we initially talked with the local print-shop that we are working with they asked if we thought we could sell 100. I hesitantly said, “absolutely!” but I worried that we wouldn’t make it. Yesterday we picked up an order that included the 360th shirt. 360!! That’s insane!! When I really think about what that means it makes my eyes leak. I thought I was a pro at preventing leaks but this experience is showing me just how wrong I was. We are blown away by the love & support we have been receiving. It’s incredible! Speaking of shirts, our out of town friends, family and fans can order here:
Those who are local can contact me or Ryan directly and we’ll get you hooked up! We have several other fundraisers going on right now too! Friends have done our are currently doing: Younique, Pampered Chef, Scentsy and Orgami Owl fundraisers. We are still actively working on our puzzle! (There will be more to come about the puzzle soon!) We’re also in the midst of planning a Chinese auction, a Gigantic Rummage Sale & a Pancake breakfast! It’s going to be a busy, BUSY summer!
We’ve met a lot of really great people through this process. I’m meeting people in parking lots, parks, gyms and various other places around town. In meeting these new people or catching up with a friend of a friend, many of them have had the same difficult question to ask, “So, What’s wrong with you? Can you not have a baby?” …Ouch. Sometimes the most well-meaning questions can hurt. I know that isn’t the intention. People are curious. Adoption isn’t common. 35% of couples consider adoption. Less than 2% actually follow through with it. I get it. It’s awkward to meet with a virtual stranger and pick up a t-shirt. Small talk is inevitable. I’m good with small talk. You’re investing in us. You’re investing in our child! I am really committed to being open about our Adoption story. I’m hoping that by being open maybe it will inspire someone else to adopt a child or that it will encourage another couple/person who have started out on this journey to keep going. Questions about adoption are ok. They are welcomed! Questions about my body and my inability to conceive are a little more difficult.
I’m not going to go into all of the medical mumbo-jumbo on the blog. I promised myself that I would be open about the process in the good times and in the hard times. I really am being as open as I can with this whole process. However, posting about THAT part of this process is just not something I’m comfortable with. Plus, I just don’t know what purpose it would serve. This is about adding to our family through adoption, not our inability to have biological children. Some people may say that those two go hand in hand. I’m officially disagreeing. I think it’s the ending of one chapter and the beginning of a new storyline. Maybe that’s a cop-out to avoid talking about the hard stuff, who knows? It’s where I stand for today.
I do think it’s important to know that I have definitely have had my time of grief. When you dream a particular dream for most of your life, letting go of it can be really hard. I think it’s ok to let yourself grieve. I think it was necessary for me (and for Ryan) to go through the grief so that we could be prepared for what God had in store for us. I had to let go of what I had envisioned for my life in order to be able to fully grasp what God had planned for us. Do I see adoption as the back-up plan for our life? No way.
I think that Adoption was a part of the BIG plan all along. I don’t think that God, in all of his infinite wisdom, had to scramble to come up with a new game plan once we accepted that pregnancy just wasn’t in the cards for us. If I’m honest, I think He was like, “FINALLY! Now take 5 & get it together so that we can get started on my plan!” Uhm, ok God! We’re in! It’s funny how it works out sometimes. We are completely invested. I have zero doubts that this is exactly how we are supposed to become parents. I’m so excited about the next steps.
Moments of grief still trickle in. I will probably always wonder what it’s like to feel a baby move inside of me. There are times when I question why it has to be so hard (and EXPENSIVE!) to adopt when some people can so easily become pregnant. Why won’t my body do what it was designed to do? I wish we had a due date so that we knew exactly when our baby would come into our lives. I wish I had an excuse for eating pickles and drinking chocolate milk for breakfast. (Ha! Ha!) I grieve for our child who will undoubtedly experience their own grief and challenges because they were adopted. People so often focus on the “gain” of the adoptive parents that they forget to consider the very real loss that I can’t protect our child from experiencing.
“My Friends, Adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. –Derek Loux