My plan is to have this blog printed and bound as a keepsake for you, T-bird. I want you to have this as a keepsake when you grow up. I hope and pray that all of your days will be happy and overflowing with love. But, I know that life will not always be easy. There will be hard days, and on those hard days I want you to know how much you are loved. I don’t ever want you to doubt how much you are wanted. I don’t want you to ever think for one minute that you were a mistake. You are a precious gift from God. You were not an accident. You were always meant to be.
This Christmas is so different. Our tree is decorated and there are lights up outside, but my normal joy and excitement for Christmas is lacking. There’s something missing from our family. Our sweet T-bird, we are missing you! Your dad and I have been working so hard to prepare for your arrival and yet we still don’t know when you will come. There are some days when I feel as though I am failing you because we aren’t ready to bring you home, and then I am reminded that this is God’s plan. It’s His story and that we must be patient. You’ll be in our arms at just the right time. I want that time to be tomorrow, but I know I must wait and waiting is so hard.
Over the last few days we’ve received some gifts for you. It’s been such a mixture of emotions for me to hold something that will one day belong to you. It makes me weep to open a gift that brings us one step closer to bringing you home. I’ve not always been such an emotional person, but becoming a momma has changed me. I know that it is preparing me for when you are here. There will be times when I need to celebrate with you and cry with you and be stern with you. I want to do all of those things (and more) with love and wisdom. God is molding me and changing me so that I can be the best momma specifically for you.
It’s not just your dad and I who are waiting for you. Our friends and family are waiting too. You’ve gotten a few of your own Christmas cards this year. I’ll keep these cards in a special place for you so that you can look back and read them, but just in case I lose track of them, I wanted to share a few of them with you here.
I love you so much my heart feels like it could explode. We’re waiting for you. Merry Christmas.
“We are waiting and praying for you every day! You have been loved and wanted from before you were born!!
I can’t wait to be your Aunt and spoil you ❤ Our whole family loves you so much!”
“We can’t wait for you to celebrate your first Christmas with Baby T-Bird! Here’s a little something to assist you in bringing him home. We love you guys and can’t wait to love T-Bird too!”
This Christmas is very different. Usually, we are full-force Baby Jesus celebration but this year, we’re also thinking about another baby.
Come home soon. “
… Now do you see why your momma always cries? You are so loved.