A “Family Chat” with those who love us

As we get closer to meeting our son, there are some things that I wanted to share with those of you who have followed our story.  I supposed we will call this a bit of a “family chat” for lack of a better term.   In our house growing up, family meetings usually meant someone was in trouble or mom wasn’t happy because chores weren’t being completed, etc.   This is NOT that kind of family meeting.   It’s the best way we can think to share information with the people who love us and/or have followed our adoption story.   Take a deep breath, relax… it shouldn’t hurt too bad! 😉

Once we return home from Arkansas Ryanprayed, Dax and I will probably be hermits for an undetermined amount of time.  Unlike a typical child, Dax hasn’t had the 9 months of bonding with Ryan and I from the womb.  We will largely be strangers to him.  We will be selfish with him and provide endless hours of cuddles and bonding.  We want him to know without a shadow of doubt that we are mom and dad and we love him fiercely.  This means for a while, we will not be passing him around for others to love and snuggle.  We need time to bond with him first.  I don’t know how long this will last- it will depend on Dax’s needs.

 This doesn’t mean that we won’t be allowing anybody to hold him in the beginning.  We will be greatly limiting his time with others though. It means we probably won’t be bringing him to public places or church for a while because we know everyone is excited to see him and telling people “no” is hard!  We have been prepping our families for this for quite a while.  Grandparents are probably having the hardest time with it, but they understand and we hope you do too!  If you’d like to stop by our house and meet Dax, that would be great! We will let you know when we are home and just ask that you call or text before you stop by.   We know that everyone is excited to meet him and we love how much he is loved!  We hope that you understand why we are choosing to do this and know that we appreciate your love and concern so much!

The next order of business is social media.  This will probably be the hardest for his momma to get used to!  Ryan and I have agreed that we will be greatly limiting pictures of Dax on social media.  We will share a photo as soon as we are able to (and we aren’t sure when that will be…) but in order to protect his privacy and our family’s privacy, other pictures will be few and far between.  Those of you who know me know that I love social media.  I love seeing pictures of our friends and family and their kiddo’s every day.  However, the circumstances surrounding our little family are a bit different. We want to be respectful of Dax, his precious birth family and our new family.  On the occasion that we do share a picture of Dax on social media we ask that you not “share” it unless you ask us first.  We will definitely be texting pictures and updates to our friends and family- but social media photo posts will be rare.

You may not know it if you’ve only known us a short while, but Ryan and I are extremely private people.  We have chosen to step way outside of our comfort zone throughout our adoption journey and share openly with our friends, family and community our struggles with infertility and each step of this adoption journey.  It’s been hard for us to open up like this, but we both really felt led to be transparent and let the Lord use our story as He sees fit.  Now that Dax will be home soon, we plan to step back from the public eye a bit.  Not that we rank celebrity status or anything ( I just felt like a huge tool for saying “public eye”… ) but we have had complete strangers approach us and talk to us on multiple occasions about our story.  We plan to continue being open about adoption.  We hope that if others have questions about adoption that they will come to us and we will continue to be transparent and offer any advice we can.  We just won’t be so transparent about our personal lives or Dax’s life on such a public platform.

Over the next few weeks I foresee this blog becoming WAY more active.  I plan to write as much as I can once we get “THE CALL” to head to Arkansas to meet our son!  I want to write down my thoughts and feelings and continue sharing our ADOPTION journey through the end.We’ll blog about our trip to Arkansas, our court hearing, our first days as parents, living his first few weeks away from home and seeing our son for the first time.

We hope that you understand the purpose of this “Family chat” and know that it comes from a loving place. We have carefully considered and prayed about what’s best for Dax,  his birth family and for Ryan and I.  Thank you for following our story! Thank you for loving us and helping us along the way.  We will forever be indebted to those who have supported us and cheered for us along the way.


If you’d like to donate towards the cost of our 2 week trip to Arkansas and our last birth mom expense payment,  the link to our GoFundMe can be found below.